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To Climb the ladder of Success is Not the goal. The Real Goal is to Stay there and Stay for Long.
...and this requires Self-Discipline & Self-Control in life.
And who doesn’t aspire to inculcate in their kids every such quality which contributes to their child’s success? So, for our lovely mothers out there, today we bring to you parenting tips on how can you teach your kids the art of self-control and reach the pinnacles of success later on in their lives.
It is believed that this ability of managing oneself begins to develop in kids quite early in life, and by the time a child is 4 years of age, almost 30% of them already know how to control and manage their emotions and anxieties.By this time they develop a sense of awareness about temptation and resistance. Not necessarily, should your child be displaying this trait of resistance to perfection but most definitely should show signs that as and when required they can overcome their impulses.
Even though this skill of self-control comes quite naturally to kids by observing their surroundings, the extent to which they apply it varies. For instance, if your little boy makes a little fuss for a motor car he saw in the store, it is totally expected. It is still OK if he cries a little to have you give in to your demand. But if he is not ready to reason out and hear nothing but a “yes” and starts throwing tantrums like rolling on the floor or creating a ruckus then dear parent, it is high time. Teach them a lesson of self control now!
Given below are some easy tips for you to teach or help your child practice self-control:
Teaching starts with trust
You got to develop your child’s trust in you and also the world around to be able to learn self-control because self-control to a great extent comes from the ability to manage anxiety. It also comes from the faith that waiting and resisting will ultimately result in a better outcome. For instance, if you are there at your infant’s side when he breaks awake in the middle of his sleep, a trust will be developed that someone is there to soothe them. This assurance will in turn stimulate their brain’s neural pathways that will help them regulate their emotions and gradually help them to soothe themselves on their own.
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Be Calm and Self-regulate your emotions
When the kid acts cranky and makes much noise, parents usually lose their own self-control and silence the kids either by yelling or punishing them. Remember, forceful shutting up your kids emotions will never work well for them. It will give them a sense of emergency which demands instant escaping without understanding the need of it. Your child will only learn to suppress his emotions and not willful self control. Additionally, they will emulate you and use the same tactic of aggressive reaction to deal with any situation/person that goes against their will.
Don’t Let Your Anxiety Translate into Theirs
If you always have your panic button on, what do you expect your child to learn from you? On the first day of your kid’s school, if you show signs of nervousness, it will rub off on the child too. It is not so much the child’s own fear of being left alone in the school, than the acquired anxiety that comes from the anxious parents who keep discussing the nervous ‘what if...’ and ‘Oh! How will he manage without us.’ If parents maintain a calm composure while dealing with the new events that unfold in their child’s life, it will also reflect in the child’s approach. He will learn how to cope with new changes and this tendency to stay calm will develop easily.
Practice makes perfect
Play this game. Offer your child a chocolate. Now offer him another, but don’t actually give it. Tell him that if he waits until dinner instead of one he’ll be rewarded with two. The deal is to create a situation where your child is provided with an option of willfully leaving out something they want now, to get something better later. Encourage them to aim for the higher goal. Create such situations often to help them practice the art of self-control. The practice will help them recognize the rewarding nature of being disciplined and keeping a control over their desires. This will make them habitual of practicing self-control to achieve the better things in lives by giving up on the trivial ones.
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Setting Empathic Limits
In the mid run of your efforts to help your child practice self-control, introduce some limits for them which promise no future reward except for your love and care. You’ll be delighted to see more often than not your child will readily accept it. For instance, if your child leaves the T.V. screen to have dinner at the dining table because eating together is the rule of the house, then he is practicing self-control. It is obviously their desire of spending loving time with you all that he is readily overcoming his urge of watching T.V.
Finally, there is a reason it is known as “Self-control.” It should come in from within. You can only create an environment wherein kids willfully learn to control and manage their emotions and reactions. Ultimately, it is upto them how they take the cues.
