09294000000
Parenting a daughter who is in her preteen years, you are up for the hardest time of your parent life! Many parents are hassled when they see their sweet little girl changing into a living nightmare. Nothing against them but these are the years when their developing bodies are a cocktail of unbalanced hormones. They are trying to act all grownup and in this attempt they often forget about their parents. They are trying to find their place in the big world and ignore their family and studies in the process, giving more importance to friends.
They can be unreasonable, rude, self centered and moody. Not that the tween girls are always hard to deal with, they can be soft and mature but when they are at their worst, God save you! This is the time when parents begin to drift away from their daughters but with the right guidance you can use this time to strengthen the bond with them. Read it all out here!
Be Willing To Change
Time has changed, your little girl has grown up. She is no more a little baby so the way you used to parent her back then will not be useful now. The situations where you would want her to listen to you are exactly the times when she wouldn't. You will have to change yourself and try to listen to her!
Trending : Tips To Help You Through The Transition Of your Child To A Teenager
Relationship First
Disciplining her without giving her a chance to speak is not going to work (at least not now)! You will have to learn to put your relationship with her in the first position and disciplining will have to take a back seat! Connect with her more often with loving hugs, delightful welcome and chats at night. She is just failing to acknowledge how much she needs yo but don’t let her push you away. She needs you and your positive approach will help her realize this truth!
Allow Independence
Your little daughter wants to stand on her own feet and for that she needs independence. When you deny her that and try to control her actions all the time, you are pushing her towards rebellion. Though you don’t have to agree to all her demands, you still have to allow space of negotiation. It will instill independent behavior in her and will allow you to connect better with her.
Also read : 6 Things to NEVER Say To Your Child
Quality Time
Try and create space in your schedule to spend some time with your daughter. It could be as simple as a walk or manicure. Just open a conversation with her but don’t give advice. This will only make her feel that you doubt her capabilities. Listen to her just listen, ask questions and empathize!
Accept The Anxiety
With the change in hormonal balance comes undue anxiety in girls. While boys look forward to their teen years because of the strength and independence that comes, girls fear it. They are scared of the menstrual cycle that will begin, the cramps and the pressure to look pretty. While on the outside they may demand skimpy outfits to look good, on the inside they aren't ready for all the attention. All this anxiety comes out in the form of anger and sobbing over a little bruise on toe! It’s not about that but since the girls don’t know what actually bothers them, they whine about petty things. Accept this and empathize with them!
Talk About Love And Sex
Don’t think that opening to her with such topics will push her into relationships too early. Rather the reverse will happen. Girls who fail to have strong bond with their parents are the ones who look for love elsewhere and end up into relationships that aren't right for them. Promote her love for her own body so that she doesn't end up proving her worth in wrong manner that will create problems later. Tell her that such things happen and give her the confidence to walk out of such mess!
Don’t Take Things Personally
Due to her out of control hormones, she is likely to feel and say that her parents don’t understand her. Don’t be upset about such statements because she isn't really focusing on you, its about her and what she can’t understand about herself. This is tough but you will have to bite your tongue and bear her tantrums. One wrong reaction from your side and she has moved away from you!
Your girl is looking up to you for emotional support and you are her role model. If you are not stable with her emotions, she is likely to give you a tough time. Be patient with her and within a year or two, she will be much calmer and stable!
