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Kids are like clay. You can mold them as you want to. The impressions you make on them stay long and hard. Your words and gestures contribute significantly molding the child’s psyche. It is therefore important for parents to mind their actions and words carefully when dealing little impressionable souls.
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Here are a few things that should never be spoken to a kid. Take a note :
1. “IF YOU _____ THEN I WILL GIVE YOU _____”
Bribing your child for anything is not good. You are just not setting a good example for him. Motivating him to get good great to get a new football, or bartering a night out with garage cleaning is not a good idea. It will make him demanding and he’ll never to a thing without a profit.
2. “STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE____”
Threatening does work, but they are not good for your child’s psychological health. They’ll develop a fear of you. Or if your threats have come out in the heat of the moment and later when you calm down, you forget to follow through your threats - the child’s notoriety heightens as he knows the threats are meaningless.Also, you are teaching them something you don’t want- using brute power to make the other person listen and work according to your will.
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3. "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE ____"
Comparisons do no good to a kid. Nothing can make him feel worse than the feeling that you are disappointed with him, and that he is not as good as his sibling or the peer his parents admire. This can cause inferiority complex in the child. Try and motivate him to to better in gentler ways, and don’t over-push it.
4. "I TOLD YOU WAITING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE WAS A MISTAKE!"
Yes you told so because you’ve had the experience. But your child does not. Let him get it and learn from his own mistakes. The failure that comes from one’s own doing can teach lessons better than any of the lectures you give. Plus, the mistake has already been made, don’t add to the child’s misery with your bitter ranter.
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5. “I KNOW YOU ARE THE BEST”
Sure you want to encourage the child at every step. Appreciate him for the little success he tastes. You want him to feel the best and yes for you he genuinely is the best. But pronouncing it to him every now and then is not a good thing. This can backfire as your child may develop a fear of disappointing you. He will be scared to try out new things fearing that if he does not fair well, you’ll be let down.
6. "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
Parents love to win every argument with their period statement - “You have to do it because I said so.” There is no way to question their authority, and a respecting child would give in. As a parent you may feel proud of this power you yield, but believe it your child hates this dictatorship. It is the most annoying way of telling them to shut up and could silently turn them into rebels.
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7. “THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT WAY. LEAVE! LET ME DO IT.”
You asked your kid to help out with dusting or wash the car, or the young lady of the house excitedly enters into the kitchen to try her hands on cooking. While they are doing the work, your eyes are constantly on them, and you can help but take things in your hand, telling them that’s not how it’s done. This is just not how it should be. They sure are no perfectionists, but are making efforts and will learn in their own sweet time. Taking over the work will never let them learn. You could join in and give a helping hand instead of being entirely dismissive of their efforts.
8. “I PROMISE!”
Never say “I Promise” because when you say that you child is totally relying on you, trusting you blindly. For them parents are super humans with power to make all things possible. But when you don’t, you let them down big time. It can also lead to trust issues in them. So do mind your words. “I will try”would work better.
