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With the dawn of 21st century came unending opportunities for the youth, both men and women. But it did not come alone, it was accompanied by immeasurable pressures and expectations. Leaving the career on a side, if we concentrate on personal front one of the major expectation on today’s youth is to achieve a ‘perfect’ type of body. You have gone through this phase on extreme pressure and now is your daughter’s turn.
She lives in a society where having a thin lean body, fair complexion and a tall stature is the general norm. Beauty has been restricted to these standards to which majority of the girls fail to relate! She might be comparing herself to the girl on the cover of a fashion magazine. What she needs to know is that the girl on the cover herself does not look like the girl on the cover! The beauty standards are creating insecurities in our girls and that is totally not acceptable. They are beautiful and they need to feel the same, and here is how you can help!
Sympathize
The first thing you can do to help her is to just lend her an ear and let her pour her heart out! Let her tell you her concerns and then you share your experiences. Telling her your yesteryear’s insecurities and how that did not come in your way of achieving your goals will boast her morale. Show her the way to fall in love with her imperfections!
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Model Body Acceptance
You influence your daughter’s perceptions about life and societal standards more than you think! It is you from where she will derive her first definition of beauty. And talking about how unhappy you are about your body is increasing her chances of having a negative body image herself. Instead of declaring your guilt on eating a cupcake, encourage healthy and nutritious meals to incline her towards a healthy body and not a thin one!
Father’s Role
Father of a developing daughter tends to step back from her life but he has a role to play in her life and help her deal with her struggles. A daughter needs reassurance from her dad, not only for her looks but her overall achievements as well. Moreover her dad’s acceptance towards her mother, her body and achievements is what a daughter needs to experience the practical side of what we have been teaching theoretically! This balance of giving space and guiding is a tough one but can be brought to practice!
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Avoid Sexualizing
Body today is depicted as a sexuality symbol more than that of expression and life. With the TV shows, movies and advertisements showing a woman’s body as an object increases chances of your daughter being influenced and thus insecure about herself. These things are everywhere, she might have to hear other girl’s experiences about how she got the guy of her dreams because she looked hot. You cannot shield her from all of it but can do your bit for sure. While she watches such shows, sit with her and bring her attention towards the fact that such obsession about a body part is sad and need not be imitated!
Build Resilience
It is natural for her to feel bad about herself when she starts comparing her body with the standards of beauty. You can sympathize with her so that she feels she is being understood but overdoing it, will only strengthen her insecurities. What you really need to do is bring to her notice that she can change certain things about herself if she is not comfortable but not to please others. In the end she has to be strong and face the world and achieve all she desires despite having a ‘not-so-perfect’ body!
Exercising
Teach her that her body is not only meant to attract guys and rather is a medium to express herself and feel good about it. Let her know the importance of exercise, a must to lead a healthy life. Divert her attention towards a healthy body for how she will feel in it instead of a thin one which looks sexy. Encourage her to love her body and mend it towards health and not sexuality!
Limit Exposing
With all the fashion and beauty oriented TV shows, she might get inclined to dress up a certain way to look hot. But again wearing revealing outfits increases the risk of sexualizing her body. Though many parents nowadays tend to give freedom to their daughters about their choice of clothes but going too far this way isn't very good for the girl. With this freedom she might focus on getting compliments about her looks only. Limit her exposing to some extend to avoid sexualizing of her body and divert her focus towards her achievements and what she wants to do in life!
There is no harm in women enjoying her sexuality but there is an appropriate age for that. If in school she thinks that by looking hot she will be gaining attention, she might not feel the need to focus on her studies. What fun is it to have guys drool at your looks when they might not give you a second look on learning that you flunk your exams or are a college drop out? So help your girls set their priorities right to lead a physically and mentally stable life!
