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The biggest mistake most of the parents commit is that they send children away to control anger on their own. Which arises a bad and lonely feeling inside them. Always remember when your child is angry, he/she is already not feeling good about themselves, and to make things worse you send them away to handle the anger on their own makes them feel more isolated and depressed.
Always keep one thing in mind, Your child is not giving you a hard time, he/she is having a hard time. So instead of locking your child in his/her room and waiting that he/she will calm down eventually, you should think of talking to them. Show them affection, try to make them understand that their anger is unacceptable but the manner of saying so should be friendly and polite. He/she needs to be calm down first and then you can teach your kid how to react over a particular situation instead of out bursting out the emotion.
We have come up with some tips that will help you to manage your child’s anger and later on you can give them some anger management tips.
Note that tantrums help little kids to let off the steam
Their brains are still in developing stage and they don’t have the neural pathway to control their anger as we do. Therefore, the best way to develop it is to show loads of empathy, when they are angry. Its not a bad thing to outburst the emotions, actually it’s good. All the bad feelings and stress comes out and your child can feel refreshed. Supporting your kid while they are showing tantrums makes them feel more closer and builds trust for you. This will make them emotionally generous which is an important thing every child should learn.
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Avoid rational conversation
Trust me it’s not going to work in this situation. If your kid is disappointed about something and you try to give reasons and make him/her understand from your point of view, it is surely going to make the situation worse. He/she will get more mad and will become more troublesome for you to handle. So it is better to give them some space and just say that you are upset right now, so let’s take time out and will get back to this later.
Over-reacting- Don’t try to evaluate
Ya! Ya! He is over-reacting. Kids do over-react in some situations as they face daily hurts and fear. They do not have any idea how to verbalize it and most of the time parents don’t even notice. Children are very innocent; instead of communicating their fear or hurt to their parents, they find out an opportunity or situation to explode. So if your kid is melting down on some super silly situation, just remember that it’s an outcome of some bad experience or fear which he/she has not shared with you. So just wait let him/her melt down completely and then you can affectionately ask your child to share what is bothering him/her.
Let them calm down and then talk
Don’t start the conversation by big Lecture. Try to covey it by telling them a story, which will help them to put their emotions on context- At some situations very one wants to cry, you were extremely disappointed, you were super angry, thank you for showing your feelings to me. If you sense that he/she wants to change the topic, then without thinking twice, just do it but if she is sharing his/her emotion with you then pay heed and listen patiently. Once he/she is finished and you feel that your child is calmed down, that’s the right time you can talk to your kid. Don’t give a lecture, just tell them how they got mad and how they reacted, like you are telling a story. It will help them to understand where he/she was wrong.
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Focus on your goal as a parent
The end goal of every parent is to teach and guide their kids that how to behave in a healthy way. Its not always necessary that their should be a consequence to guide your child- just a fine day is enough to talk to your child and help them out how to handle the situation in a much better way next time.
Don’t worry, gradually your child will learn how to handle his/her emotions and how to react in different situations. The day you will understand your kids problem, is the day he/she will learn how to handle themselves.
