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Newborn require special care and attention, thereby demanding their parents to devote majority of their time to them. It is thus, natural that when the new baby arrives, the time and undivided attention that your new born once enjoyed will see a major shift. Moreover, this shift will not be a balanced one, as the infant will for obvious reasons grab the better part of it.
In such a scenario, the toddler, who though is slightly more capable of being on his own but is still to comprehend the complexities of of life, is very likely to experience a negative emotion-jealousy, towards the little sibling. First born jealousy is not a rare phenomenon. 3/5 first born kids go through this, be it of differing degree.
So beware and cautious. Make sure that this jealousy does not grow deep and strong. Make sure your first born knows that, a new baby in no way will replace their place and they are still as special as they always had been.
There are more than one way to handle first born jealousy, and maintain perfect family harmony-
First of all, before the birth of the baby, let the older one start liking and waiting for him already. Explain to him, how the baby will become his constant companion. Also make him part of the shared duty. Explain to him, that the baby will be needing much care and attention from mom-dad and the big sibling. The three of you will be responsible to make sure that the delicate being doesn’t feel left out from the family. This way the child will get the sense of responsibility and realize how important a component of the family he is.
When the baby is born, make sure your first born is there with you at all times, even if you are busy with the baby’s chores. Keep them involved with you in a conversation. Let him know what and how you are doing a certain task. Let him give you a helping hand, in little-to-do-things. At times, such as baby nap or breast feed, if you do want the other one out of the room, do that in a way that it doesn’t seem forced upon him. Let your spouse spend that time with him, or make it his play time outside with friends.
Don’t keep the older sibling at a distance from the baby in order to protect the newborn. Instead teach your first born to be gentle with the child. Don’t assume that he will definitely be rough. And if he is, don’t raise your voice and shun him. Be gentle yourself, calmly show him how to cuddle with the infant. What precautions he should take while coming in contact with the baby. Gradually, he’ll learn. More the siblings spend time together, more the bond will have the roots get firm.
Also Read: How To Spend More Quality Time With Your Child
Another thing, you need to keep in mind is that newborn needs are never ending. One day you go diaper shopping, another day buying baby bath products. Because they wet their pants and can easily spill anything that get into their mouth, quantity of baby clothes is never enough. So, seeing you always occupied with getting new things for the baby everyday, might give way to jealousy in your older one. To handle the situation, make sure when you go shopping for the newborn you grab something for his brother/sister too.
