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“It is like for once I decide not to chide my kids and be loving to them all the time but the very other moment I end up yelling at them.” This is not only your story it happens with every parent. It becomes really hard to regulate your own feelings and emotions. So let us just join this blog to see how we can cope up with this and have a balanced life.
We do not need to be a perfect parents. We just need to seize some opportunities to realize that we of course are. You just need to channelize yourself into a right direction.
The main thing you need to keep in mind is if when you loose it, use it. This means that after you loose you need to set a clear intention to make some required changes. You will have to use the incident as your motivation to follow through. If you do so it will be worth loosing as you will get back on the track by making changes.
Children do not need perfections from parents, they are resilient. What they need is parents who can understand them, if loose temper know how to repair. Kind of parents who know the meaning of apology. Parents who can apologies if things go wrong and get the relationship on back on track. So listen to us and let go back the baggage of being perfect parents. One can never be perfect and you are more than enough just the way you are, the only expectation is to keep on going as parenting is a journey without any destination.
So when you loose it. Choose love! See how;
Restore calm and safety:
When our kids get upset and or act wired it triggers us into either fight or flight. The reason why we start acting like we are enemies. But they aren’t our enemy, they are your own kids. This is no emergency case. So the next time they act wired or are upset drop your anger, be cool, breathe and deal with it. Just say to yourself that he is just a kid and is acting like one and that he needs your help to deal with this.
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Try to see the situation from the child’s point of view:
See things which seems nothing to us might be a big trouble for them so as a parent we should never tell them that this problem that he;s talking about is nothing and that they should not fret over such petty issues instead, try to understand, help them resolve the problem. If your kid is overreacting, let him. He’s a kid he’ll. Try to look at the issues from your kids point of you and this technique will help you for sure.
Commit to not take an action the next time you loose:
Just stop. Drop and take a chill pill. No situation is worst than ruining your relationship with your children. So be patient and calm with them. If you are full of anger and you do not want to get it out just walk away and perform once it is all gone. She’s your kid and you know where she lives. She’s not going anywhere so you guys can of course have a talk when you are totally cool.
Do not hesitate to apologize:
A parent should never hesitate to apologize. Whatever you give or do to save this relationship between you and your child is worth. So asking for a sorry won’t make you small. No child deserves to be yelled at and if you yelled at them it is your fault and one must apologize when at fault. You can simply say that you had a hard day and you lost your temper and yelled at him, you didn’t want to and that now they can do it over again and can be friends. You can even just apologize and treat him with something good.
Kids are kids! They understand less and feel more. So try to give them all the love and the nice feelings you can. We understand it is not possible to be good all the time so when things go wrong make it right. And now when you know the repairs, isn’t it easy? Good luck!
